The College Experience: What does it mean?

For some strange reason after watching a few movies, "Confessions of a Shopaholic," "The Nanny Diaries," I am inspired to write.

I haven’t even started college yet and I am already stressed! So many questions are racing through my mind: Do I want to be and English major? What kind of classes should I take my first quarter? Am I going to make any friends? Am I going to be able to keep up with the work? Will I meet a nice guy? Will I ever have a great boyfriend? Do I really want to be a doctor, let alone a pediatrician? All of these questions are what fill my day with mystery, regret, and lots of wonder. But I have come to the conclusion that I will not let these questions rule me. I am going take these questions into consideration when making decisions but I will not over-obsess about get the “perfect GPA” because frankly who knows if I will be a great student or an average student or even just a student. I can’t tell the future and whether or not I will accomplish all of my goals and frankly, that makes me nervous but kind of excited.

I will finally be on my own. When I say on my own, I mean without a safety net (my mother) to rescue me. That scares me shitless but this is what I need in my life right now, an obstacle waiting for me to conquer it. I hope to make great friends but maybe there is a lesson waiting to be learned in that; I may end up with a friend who is horrible to me and uses me but it will be a lesson I need to learn to better myself so I won’t make the same mistake again in the future. I may have a great boyfriend who takes care of me and is everything I’ve ever imagined and then turn out to be some psycho stalker! I will never know these answers until I step out of the bird nest and spread my wings.

This is my time to learn great things, meet amazing and horrible professors, take kick-ass classes, drop a class I knew I was going to fail, stick it out in a class I think I’m going to fail, and become the person I was meant to me. I don’t know exactly who that is but I do know that she is an amazing person ready to learn and eager to start a new chapter in her life.

Watching those movies today got me thinking that I really want a Chanel bag and that being on my own will be something good for me. As I sit here listening to Adele, singing Chasing Pavements, I finally realize that I am freaking out about being eighteen. What does it really mean to be the big 1-8? As my wise friend Kourtney wrote in a text to me on my b-day, “…Porn, Lotto Tickets, Strip Clubs, Cigarettes…” Is that what it really means to be a legal adult in the United States. Drinking alcohol would be a nice addition, but I feel like there are more than just material benefits that I’ll be receiving from turning eighteen. When I figure them out I will let you know.

I never thought I would be sitting in my bed at one in the morning rambling about all of the anxieties I feel society pressures me into thinking about. I actually find typing, on this lovely new laptop, a release. I think I’ll do it again…
Until that time I would like to leave off saying that whatever my college experience entails, I am ready for it and it better be ready for me because I’m coming out swinging with bells and whistles to let the world know that this young woman is here and ready for anything.